The Heroes of Bandtopia
by The Purest Trinity
Summary: Bandtopia! A peaceful place...or is it? Susaphones, saxophones, trombones, and one baritone who wants to destroy everything. Three women stand between Matt and the downfall of their beloved Bandtopia. What could be better! R&R to find out!
1. Cross Dressing Hierarchies

**Disclaimer:** Band ownership is relative. Can you really _own_ band? And you can't own people. I don't own any of the mentioned herein, and if most of them found out what I did to them, they'd kill me. I do own all the puns and Bandtopia though. That being said...

**A/N:** This is all based loosely on a true story! Also if you love it (which I KNOW you will) read the sequel written by Bressa W. , coming soon! Matt isn't through yet!

Once upon a time in a far away place called Bandtopia there was a group of people called the Bandians. They were free to make music, march, and make merry. However, not all the citizens were happy...one evil baritone sought the destruction of his fellow citizens. For years, he plot their ultimate down fall, knowing that his time would come. Cory, a dictator who was an immigrant from sectionleadertopia, was what really pushed him over the edge. He would quickly dominate the Land of the Low Brass and Matt couldn't handle that. Matt decided Cory must go down at all costs. But I'm getting way ahead of myself, aren't I? I should probably start from the beginning. Because if you're going to tell a story then that's usually the best place to start, right?

Bressa, my trusted (if not somewhat goofy) sidekick, and I (Stormy) were called to our benevolent king on a super secret mission. Riding into the neutral land between sections on our donkeys (yes, donkeys, recent budget cuts had made getting a horse nearly impossible) we knew that it must be serious. King Mobley summoned us into the inner chamber of the castle which was basically a vast theater with the two thrones set on a huge stage. Queen Mc informed us of their recent suspicions involving the evil baritone and his plots to take over Bandtopia. We learned of the baby, D.J., prince of the kingdom who would be put in danger by this plan. He was key to a future battle between good and evil, the forces of dark and light, but that's another story. At this point I knew I could not walk away from the mission.

Assuming a heroic pose, I attempted to reassure King Mobes. "**I**..."Pause. Big smile directed at his royal highness. "Excuse me your majesty." I said with a big smile and a salute.

"Bressa," I whispered urgently, "As my super sidekick you could at least play the music when needed!"

"It's jammed," she hissed back, fumbling with the tape recorder.

"I can help," beamed Princess Miles (the heir to Mobley's thrown) grabbing his Barisax and playing the Star Spangled Banner as my background music. I hate to admit it but it worked.

"Excuse me? Excuse **_me_**?" Bressa screeched in rage, "I'm the super hero sidekick here! Not you! In case you didn't notice this **_cape_** around my shoulders? Do you have a cape? I don't think so!"

Princess Miles gave a dignified sniff, "Well you didn't seem to be doing a very good job." he smoothed out his not-so-frilly dress.

Just then the soap box magically appeared (never mind how, it just did) and I knew this was going to be a long mission. As Bressa stepped onto it the lights dimmed. Mac and Mobley oohed and ahhed as if they were at a firework show. Man, I should have taken that last job offer that I got. But, nooo I thought to myself 'Dress up like a bat and fight crime? How stupid!' Now look at Batman, making millions of dollars and where am I? Here in the land of the cross-dressing hierarchies.

"I," she put a hand dramatically to her chest just as sad music began to play from the tape recorder. Oh, sure, it worked for her! "Never asked for this life. Just like all the other little barisaxes I just wanted to grow up like a normal bandian! But nye, that destiny was not for I. Life is cruel..." Bressa even had the whole single tear roll thing down! "But I have accepted **_my_** destiny and I wi-."

Really I didn't want to have to do this to her, but she was out of control! From my Big Band Bag I pulled out the Sousaphone of Silence. Playing a B natural, the most lethal of all bass cleft notes, I was able to silence Bressa before the soapbox got unstoppable.

"King Mobes," I snapped, now frustrated and in no mood to make a bandriotic speech, "Bressa and I will be happy to stop Matt."

"Excellent!" Kind Mobes clapped his hands together then a frown wrinkled his brows. He leaned towards me, "Stormy, this is a really big assignment so you may need some help. I will personally employ someone to help you."

Suspiciously, I glanced over at Bressa who was moaning something along the lines of 'woe is me'. "Um, Mobes I know you always have the best intentions at heart but...will this person actually be able to **_help_** me?"

"Oh I think you will find her quite helpful in your quest to stop Matt. I will send her to your apartment tonight."

"The Band Cave," I corrected him. How did anyone expect me to run a proper super hero business if they didn't even respect my puns?

"Right, The Band Cave," Mobes suddenly got serious, "I must warn you that this mission may require you to go back...back to band class!"

"Dum, dum, dum!" Miles' saxophone boomed. Bressa let out a silent roar and jumped for him. I sighed and pulled out my Baritone of Binding.


	2. Out of the Nest

In a moment of weakness I removed both the Binding and the Silence. Bressa was quick to step back on the soapbox and talk about how Princess Miles had no right to play **_her_** music. I vaguely believe I heard her say something about how the princess was not only without a cape but also without pants and she had BOTH. We entered The Band Cave which was located in the downtown area of The Land of the Low Brass. This was my attempt at creating my own Bat Cave or Fortress of solitude. Unfortunately, without high-tech equipment, a car that for whatever reason attracted women even though no one is supposed to know your true identity, or even any messages from a far away planet it didn't quite measure up. The fact that we had to pay an expensive rent every month didn't help give it a very magical feeling either. It had several music posters and not a tape recorder but a C.D. player (about as high tech as we got.) Bressa also had . Bressa had also devoted an entire wall to Lord of the Rings. I'd fought her over that stupid wall for so long. Unable to convince her that it didn't belong in The Band Cave I added a Buffy wall in rebellion. So our Band Cave came off more as a college dorm then a super hero headquarters.

"Can you believe we're going back to band class after all this time? Last time we were there was when this all started," I recalled.

Bressa finally relinquished her death grip on the soapbox, "Hey, I think I feel a flashback coming on!" With her tape player she played a short song that was perfect for the reminiscing spirit.

**4 years previous:**

Second year at the Future Instrumentalists of Bandtopia training school, better known as F.I.B. Bressa and I were so excited to get back into the band spirit. You know, back when we were still gun-ho, rosy-cheeked, and eager to learn. Bressa had decided that her destiny was to be a band instructor even though Barisaxes were traditionally supposed to become comedians. I on the other hand was musing over how Bandtopia didn't really need knights so there was no reason to study so hard on my trombone to become one. Mobley was over in the corner, intensely discussing something with a serious looking drummer. Probably a member of parliament, drummers being the sly politician that they were.

Neither Bressa or me noticed this at the time. We were far too busy admiring the shine of our brassy instruments. Mocking the princess who was surrounded by his many suitors all hoping to be king one day like Mobes. Staring fearfully over at a creepy, long-haired baritone who was giving the class a look that read something along the lines of, 'One day I'll kill you all.' If only we knew what was coming next...

"You two!" Mobley yelled from across the room pointing at me and Bressa who were now debating the importance of slide oil.

"Us..." I asked cautiously looking over to make sure my friend hadn't broken anything.

"Yes you, come here!" we followed him into his office. "I'm afraid we have a problem...there has been an increased threat to Bandtopia. We're not sure what it is or who, but it's there and we have to stop it."

"Um, King Mobes...we? Who is we exactly." I asked, afraid I already knew the answer.

"Oh," he laughed, "My apologies! Did I say we? I meant you two, I can't take time out of my schedule to take care of that." Mobes waved his hand absently.

"What?" Bressa stared in shock at him, "But...but...we're still in training!"

"Don't worry about that," Mobley insisted, "Do you think super heros get there by hard work! No, they are given their powers. I will give you everything you need to do your job."

"So...your throwing us out of sixth grade band class?" I asked with disbelief.

"Don't think of it as being thrown out. Think of it as being...pushed out of the nest." Mobley said is a voice that indicated he thought he was sharing great wisdom with us.

"W-w-well, push someone else out of the nest! We don't want to be pushed out of the nest, we are perfectly happy in the nest!" I looked at Bressa who nodded wide-eyed in agreement.

"Don't worry about it! Don't worry about a thing! It will work out, just you watch. I don't make the rules...well, actually I do but I like the rules, and we need two new super heros." Mobley said with the same bright smile as if he was explaining a basic concept of music.

Handing me a big, black bag he waved us towards the door, "Go on now, you're interrupting my class."

Bressa and I stood outside the door for a moment is shock at what had just happened. From within we heard Princess Miles complaining, "But your highness! I'm older and better then they are! I've been playing longer then they have."

"Now, now Miles. That is not a job for a proper young princess to do, you should stay here and finish your training." said King Mobes seriously.

Taking a few steps down the hall, unsure of what exactly we should do next. Mobes hadn't told us what we were supposed to do and the big black bag was sort of heavy. "Maybe it wont be that bad!" I said with my special brand of optimism.

The walk down the hall was epic, growing excitement about all the opportunities it opened up, "We can get matching costumes! And a Band Mobile." I said.

"Yeah!" Bressa bounced up and down, "And we can name everything in illiterations and make horrible puns!"

There was a large wooden structure in the middle of the hallway, we both stopped to observe it, "My trombone senses are tingling." I informed her.

Bressa and I cautiously approached the wooden structure and found a tall blonde flute pounding a nail into the wood. Me and Bressa exchanged looks. Bressa was the first to take a stab at the situation, "Hey, what'cha doin'?"

"Building a bunker." she said sharply as if that was the stupidest question she had ever heard.

"Shouldn't you be in band class?" I asked politely.

The blonde flutist waved her hand at me absently, "Not important, I have to build this bunker. Of upmost importance."

"Um, okay, good luck at that." I said turning around.

"You don't think she's a threat?" Bressa looked concerned because even in exile she was the Queen of Brown Nosing.

"Um, not to band kind. Let's go outside and find someone who needs help."

**5 Minutes Later:**

Two flutes skated by together playing a romantic and charming melody on their instruments with little birds following them. Bressa and I watched them go by the park bench we'd staked out. "Know what bothers me about flutes?" I asked.

"The fact that their instruments are SO tiny and their fingers move so quickly?"

"Besides that."

"What's that Stormy?"

"They have this sort of control over animals. I mean if a trombone and a flute both fall into a river who do you think a dog for instance would come rescue? The flute!"

Bressa nodded in what I assumed was agreement. "I feel like I'm skipping band class. We should do something band related!"

"Okay," I agreed, "Let's look in the bag he gave us. The Band Bag!" I exclaimed, beginning a long line of bad puns and jokes.

Opening it up I found a vast collection of instruments. "Look at this," I said in awe, "A Trombone of Truth, A Baritone of Binding, A Clarinet of Chaos. Oh! And a susaphone of silence! I have a feeling that one will come in handy."

"Oh please, you'd never do that to me," Bressa said with a laugh, looking in excitement at the new arsenal we had. "Look a Barisax!" she reached for it.

"Um, Bressa, don't you think that you should find out what it does before you use it." I asked but I was too late, she blew into it with a very loud and fierce note. And...a nearby store blew up. My eyes widened. Not good, way not good. Two trumpets began to walk towards us clothed in the police uniforms that trumpets were famous for. Even worse.

**7 Minutes Later (not 6, not 8, just 7):**

Bressa and I sat in the Bandtopia prison, in a giant instrument cabinent with bars on the opening. We both were staring at the wall, well we had made our first mistake.

"Well, this is wonderful." I sighed, "All of fourteen minutes doing this and we already landed ourselves in prison for destroying public property."

"Yeah, but it was pretty cool when that barisax blew up that building." Bressa said with a shrug.

"Oh, yeah."

**Present:**

Both of us sighed wistfully at the memory, just as the tape ran out too, "It was pretty convenient how Mobley 'forgot' about us for a few days." Bressa said in a slightly bitter tone.

"Bressa, if I'd just employed us and they did that I never would have come and got us." I told her, only half joking.

"Ah, to be young again."

Suddenly there was the blast of music from outside, a saxophone playing a grand fanfare. That meant that someone important must be approaching. Bressa stiffened though because she knew EXACTLY who was playing the fanfare.


	3. Fire, Flutes, and Other Pains

**Disclaimer:** Bandtopia is all I own to be honest (sadly, even that is only half-ownership)...however, I don't own Spike's quote at the bottom of the page? Who owns it? I don't know. I got it from a girl and all I remember about her is she lived in America. Oh sure, with enough effort I could have found out who created it, but I'm not going through that.

"Why does Princess Miles know where the band cave is?" Bressa asked urgently, reaching for her Bari Boom. "W-what if he's a double agent for Sectionleadertopia?" there was more than a little hope in her voice.

"**_No!_**" I said sternly, "You can't blow up the princess. It's..." I searched for a reasonable excuse. "Against the Bari Bylaws."

Bressa sighed and resigned to her fate to abide by her Bari related code of conduct. Princess Miles and our helper entered the cave. The helper was the Bunker Blonde! In shock, I decided the best way to deal with this was to roll with the punches.

"I'm Stormy and this is my sidekick, Bressa." I shouted over the fanfare the princess was playing.

She nodded slowly, "I am...TGB!" she said with a dramatic hand gesture. It was odd that she didn't need to shout. Unlike most meek flutes her voice was loud and brash.

"Um...that's nice. What does TGB stand for?" I asked as politely as I could while shouting for the Princess had just decided that the coda had to be played fortissimo.

For a moment she just stared coldly at me and then pounded her fist to her chest. I jumped with surprise and then raised an eyebrow. _We're all going to die, _I thought suddenly, my optimism apparently taking a paid vacation. Well technically it could be a regular vacation, but paid vacation makes it sound more like I'm getting ripped off and that's how it felt. But that's besides the point. With serious misgivings towards Mobes, I looked towards the rocky ceiling. _Come on Sweet, _I pleaded my musical trombone God, _Give me something to work with here. So I wont have to put my head through a wall._ Princess Miles finished playing his fanfare, plunging us into blissful silence. _Very funny Sweet, _I thought, _anything to keep us from dying?_ Nothing happened. Great.

"Princess," I nodded in his direction and bowed, "thank you for assisting...TGB to the band cave. We will be requiring no further assistance at the time."

"Actually Stormy, I thought I may be assisting you with this mission. I think that you and Breedy could use some help."

"It's Bressa," my Bari irritated sidekick snapped.

"Princess," I said as diplomatically as possible, "I don't think Mobley will be okay with that."

"I know but I can't let that stop me! It is too important. I swear by my life that the government of the band geeks, by the band geeks, for the band geeks shall not perish from this Earth." Miles stated in all his skirt clad glory.

Truthfully, this ticked me off a little bit. I'd invited him into MY home...well, cave but you get the point and he was making Bandriotic speeches! That was my job, I was the hero, I made the speeches around here. So I must admit, even though I'm supposed to be the mature super hero, I couldn't help but laugh at what happened next. Just as the princess finished his speech TGB raised her flute to her lips and did a trill in an octave only a flute is capable of. Princess Miles' not-so-frilly dress went up in flames. All three of us laughed as he ran around the room as if...(forgive me)...as if his skirt was on fire. Eventually my responsibility overcame my laughter and I shouted, "Stop, drop, and roll!"

Bressa was practically bouncing up and down, "See! See what happens when you try to be the super hero sidekick? Am I on fire? No, I'm not on fire. I am fire free! In fact I am practically unflammable! I'm–"

I sighed and reached for the Sousaphone of Silence, however before I reached it TGB smack the back of her head. Oddly enough it worked...almost as well as the Sousaphone of Silence would have! Okay...maybe this would work.

TGB sighed, "Okay, did you get that out of your system?" Bressa nodded, giving her a slightly bitter look, "You and your Bari Boom are pretty famous, I mean you blew up the building, right?" Bressa blushed and nodded, "Why didn't you just blow him up?"

Bressa tore her eyes away from the sight of Princess Miles struggling to control the flames, "It's in the Bari Bylaws, I can't blow up the princess."

"The...Bari Bylaws?" TGB raised her eyebrow and then looked at me suspiciously. She was way too smart for a flute, she was going to be trouble. I smiled at her innocently, "What is it you're supposed to stand for again? **_TRUTH_**, justice, and the Bandmerican way?"

Luckily Bressa was far too distracted by her joyful fire show that she didn't realize I had made a little f.i.b. earlier. Miles had finally been able to stop the flames, which was good because as funny as his skirt being on fire was, I didn't want my cave to be burnt down. "The point is TGB, we don't set people on fire around here."

"You don't," She pointed out, "I'm completely freelance."

Suddenly she raised her hands to her head and did a crazy little hand motion, I raised my eyebrow questioningly. "I'm getting a...vision."

"Oh you get visions too? Great." She ignored me.

"You...will...have great shoe strife!" she banged her fist against the table to make her point...whatever that was.

"What the hell does that mean?" I asked impatiently. Bressa was looking mournfully over at the flute, as though she wished TGB would set him on fire again. "That was a once in a lifetime deal." I warned her.

TGB shrugged, "I call 'em as I see 'em. You will have strife. With shoes." At this point I decided that it was better to let the 'visions' go for now.

"So..." TGB said, sitting Indian style on a nearby rock instead of one of the chairs. We'd tried rock furniture in the past...but that's another flashback. "I'm taking a wild guess here but...you with the colors," she gestured to me, "And you with the underwear on the outside," She gestured over to Bressa, "Has to do with you two being super heros right?"

"Yeah," I said, "It helps keep the morale up. Although in my opinion the whole underwear thing is a little extreme."

TGB nodded slowly, "I don't do band costumes."

"You have to!" Bressa insisted, "It's in the Big Book of Rules."

"Bressa...have you ever _seen_ this Big Book of Rules?" TGB asked, sliding off her rock and walking over to us.

"Well, no. Only Stormy can see the rule book. It's in the rules." Bressa explained.

"I don't _do_ band costumes!" TGB snapped sharply, clutching her Flute of Fire. Deciding that getting set on fir might hurt, I decided to come up with another little f.i.b.

"Only two people have to wear super hero costumes. Other wise it gets way too confusing." I explained to Bressa. Wow I should have been a drummer, what with the ease I made up laws.

"**_Anyways_**." TGB continued, "I sort of get why you guys are wearing costumes but...what's with the dress?"

"Well...he's the princess." I explained simply, "It's his duty to wear the dress."

"How can he be the princess? He's a guy!"

"Shh!" I hissed, "No one knows that!"

Princess Miles stood up in his newly blackened and still-not-so-frilly dress, "You can not begin to understand the burden that I bear! If I was not to don the royal dress chaos would ensue! The order of Bandtopia would be overthrown. The ritual of wearing the royal dress is a sacred one that will prepare me for being queen one day. Besides...as it turns out marching in a dress is a lot easier then marching in pants."

TGB raised her eyebrow up high and blew into her flute again. However, this time he dodged out of the way of the flame and it hit one of the control chairs setting it ablaze.

"Great! Would you happen to have a flute of **_water_**?"

"No, I rarely need to put my fires back out again."

I looked disdainfully at my burning chair, "What am I supposed to do now?"

The princess cleared his throat and I cringed. Then I sighed with defeat, "Miles, will you please put out the fire?"

"Well, Stormy, I suppose I could do that since you so obviously need my help. However, everything comes with a price. Obviously I can't go and save the world in this dress so we are going to have to buy me a new one. Would that be at all possible?" he asked politely.

"Yes," I said through clenched teeth. "There is a store called Clarinets and Clothing in a town nearby that we will be riding through."

"Great." He blew into his Bari Sax and the fire went out. Although he didn't hesitate to get things BESIDES the chair wet. Oh, yeah. Long doesn't even describe this trip.

**READ THIS:** I am ticked off with you, yes you. Yep, you there clicking on the big picture at the top of the page to take you to the main page. YOU reading my story without hitting the review button. Yeah, you bother me. Spike has something to say about this because I'm a Buffy fan and I need to have him say this!

"In my spare time, you may not know this, but I like to read fan fictions. I've read some good ones and some bad ones...you know? But no matter what I always review the story because I understand all the work the author pours into the story. Sure, I drain author's blood if they write a bad fic, but I still review."

–Spike, Buffy the Vampire Slayer

So be like Spike and review.


	4. Shoe Scandals and Problematic Popcorn

**Note:** I KNOW what you're thinking. Isn't she being a little too hard on this Miles guy? Doesn't he deserve a break? When does he get to save the day? No he deserves every word, he really is that much of a jerk. Oh and if Miles just so happens to be reading this...it isn't you. Yeah, it's another Miles. Yeah...that's it... The only other person who I have complete unadulterated consent to use them in my story is Bressa. I'm on caffeine, I can't be held accountable for my actions. Review glares at that creep who is clicking the button to go back to the main menu. I know where you live, punk!

Three hours later TGB, Bressa, and I were all sprawled out in Clarinets and Clothing waiting for the princess to pick out a dress. TGB was nodding her head to an imagined beat and every once in a while she made an annoyed sound as if someone had said something that offended her. I was trying with all my super hero might to help the princess pick out a dress. Bressa wasn't helping by picking out the ugliest and the most outrageous dresses she could find and sneaking them into the pile.

Suddenly TGB banged her hand against the wall making me jump, "Sorry." She muttered sitting back on the ground.

Princess Miles came out of the dressing room in a long purple gown, "How does this one look?"

"Fine--" I began, only to be cut off by TGB.

"I still like the first one, the red one."

Princess Miles posed in front of the mirror and I caught Bressa in the corner of my eye sneaking a bright lime green skirt into the pile, "You're sure it didn't look too flashy?"

"No, it was perfect."

Princess Miles returned to the dressing room with a frustrated sigh. I glared at TGB, "What?" she asked innocently, "I'm just trying to help."

"Can I please just blow him up?" Bressa begged.

"Five more minutes," I muttered, leaning against the wall.

"I found it!" exclaimed Miles from within the dressing room.

"Thank Sweet." I snapped, getting to my feet.

"There's nothing I can do about!" TGB suddenly shouted, "I've told you this a million times. Trust me, there are things I would rather be doing too but we have to help them! Now shut up or I will set you on fire!"

Bressa and I both turned to look at her but she simply glared back at us and muttered something under her breath. It sounded slightly insulting and not quite English. However, we forgot all about that when Miles came out of the dressing room.

Apparently he had decided against the red dress. Instead he had chosen a pink and puffy dress with white ribbons and bright red flowers. I felt a slow smile spread across my face and an uncontrollable giggle rise inside me. Bressa had already given up any hope of self control and stumbled away laughing. I smacked her arm in an attempt to shut her up but I couldn't use my Sousaphone because I was doing everything I could to contain myself.

TGB, being the tactful soul that she is asked, "What's **_THAT_**?"

"It's my new princess dress." Miles explained twirling around to show it off, "Can I help it if I actually want to look NICE for the first day of school?"

Still smiling I said, "As long as it gets us out of here, I'm good."

"Well we have to go over to Saxophones and Shoes first."

"What **_now_**?" I snapped, unable to believe this.

"Well these shoes don't match the new princess dress."

"Princess," I said with a well place eye roll, "you will just have to rough it for a few days."

"**_No_**, absolutely not. There would be an uprising. Riots in the streets. It is unthinkable!"

"An uprising if your shoes don't match?" I asked in disbelief.

"You have no idea."

With a hopeless sigh I followed him across the crowded street with TGB wandering behind us and Bressa cheerfully at my side.

"But the dress is PINK," Miles protested.

"Yeah, but the flowers are scarlet!" I reminded him, waving a pair of red shoes in the air.

"Is that what scarlet looks like?" TGB asked, leaning over my shoulder, "I always thought scarlet was a shade of blue."

"No, it's red." I assured her.

"I had curtains that color once. But I don't think it is called scarlet, I think it is called maroon." Bressa threw her two cents in.

"The point is that it goes with the dress!" I insisted.

"Please!" Miles snapped angrily, "Stormy, I know that you are a 'super hero' and everything," he said, hand on hip, using air quotes, "but leave the princess duties to me."

We wandered off to the front of the shop and sat in the big instrument shaped chairs. "I'm hungry." said TGB suddenly.

"Just wait. We'll be at F.I.B. soon." I told her.

TGB gave me a puppy dog look, "But there's a popcorn place RIGHT across the street. Could you run over and get me a bag?"

I sighed, "What's the worse that could happen?" I walked back out into the crowded street.

Piccolos and Popcorn was a small store that specialized in piccolo supplies and...well, popcorn. Every kind of it lining the walls. Again, King Mobes doesn't give us much money to work with so I bought a cheap bag of microwavable popcorn. Okay, so we didn't have a microwave, I assumed it would all work itself out. That day I learned to never assume anything. TGB responded enthusiastically to her bag of popcorn and took out her Flute of Fire.

"TGB, are you sure it is a good idea to use that?" I asked her.

"What could go wrong? It's heat, it'll pop it, no big deal." she said as if I was worrying about nothing.

"Yeah but...have you ever tried popping popcorn with it before?"

"No. So what?" she asked, flute posed in mid-air.

"Well...Bressa and I have had some bad experiences when experimenting with super hero power stuff." I shuddered at the many, many memories.

"Like what?" scoffed TGB, obviously underestimating our ability to screw things up.

Bressa tore herself away from tormenting the Princess long enough to hit the button that plays flash back music.

**3 years, 6 days, 5 hours, 10 minutes, and 55 seconds earlier:** (Just like that.)

Bressa and I stood on the outskirts of the Highlands which was the heart and soul of our high woodwinds. (Ha, get it? Because it's high up and there are high instruments there. So it's the High lands. You know, like a pun? Well...I think I'm funny anyways.) We were up on a cliff, shivering and experimenting with our powers. Recently I made the mistake of renting Superman and watching it with Bressa. Now she was determined that we could fly.

"If he can do it, so we can!" Bressa exclaimed with super enthusiasm. (Because she's enthusiastic and a super hero? No?)

"No, it's different! That was a movie Bressa, just a movie! Hello, this is real life!" I snapped moving out of the way as a newborn donkey flew by. Probably just growing in his wings.

"All super heroes can do it!" she insisted.

"Fine," I broke down, staring down the steep slope of the cliff, "but why are we jumping off a cliff to test our flying ability? That's dangerous! Why don't we go jump off a park bench instead? I'm afraid of heights. I'm a LOW brass Bressa, there is a reason for that."

"We can do it!" She said with a smile, "Trust me!"

"Okay." I agreed, we both took a deep breath and leapt off the cliff.

...As it turns out, of all the powers King Mobley gave us, flying was not one of them. Luckily, stupidity does not anger the band gods. Besides this story would be a lot less interesting and a lot worse off if we plummeted to our deaths just then. Luckily King Mobes (who I suppose **_was_** being benevolent just then) saved us. Instead of falling to the trees below, we found ourselves standing in The Royal Throne Room. The king was sitting on his throne with a not-so-happy look on his face. Queen Mc sat on his throne looking slightly amused, but attempting a stern look.

"What in Bandtopia were you two girls doing?" King Mobes shouted.

"Um, well your majesty...we were trying to fly." I explained meekly.

Queen Mc chuckled despite himself and King Mobes turned red and shouted, "**_WHY? _**You know, you two are supposed to **_STOP_** bad things from happening and yet every time my **S**uper **S**ecret **S**inister **S**ituation** S**ignal (say THAT ten times fast...or once for that matter) goes off it is you two doing something stupid!"

"It was Bressa's idea!" I protested.

"Stormy, if Bressa jumped off a cliff would you do it too?"

We exchanged looks and Mobley let out what can only be described in this text as a giggle, "NEVER MIND!" Thundered Mobley.

**Present:**

"I can't believe you sold her out!" TGB exclaimed, fingering a pair of overpriced and overly complicated pair of high heels. She turned, as if speaking to someone who wasn't us, "Can you believe this? Craziness. I'll take my combat boots any day." again she grumbled something that didn't sound quite English.

Using my Super Selective hearing I replied, "_That's_ what you got out of my flashback?"

"Yes it is. And **_this _**is nothing like that. It is just popcorn. What's the worse that could happen? TGB took out her flute and used it on the popcorn. And all that happened was that it...popped.

TGB tossed the popcorn into the air and caught it in her mouth. Then she offered the bag to me but I declined. Popcorn and the trombone didn't go together very well. Don't even make me relive the Spit valve Dilemma of 1998. Bressa on the other hand accepted the popcorn and reached into the bag. "Ow!" she cried, "I-I think it bit me!" she dropped the bag.

"How do you like it!" came a tiny, yet fierce voice from the ground. There stood a little popcorn man shaking his fierce little popcorn fist and stomping his little popcorn foot.

I rounded on TGB, "I **_told_** you this was going to happen. I knew it!"

"You **_knew_** they were going to turn into popcorn people? Wish you would have clued me in." she looked completely serene despite the growing number of popcorn men.

"Don't get cute with me." I snapped.

"I don't **_do_** cute, Stormy." I glared at her, although I don't think she was very intimidated. Finally she sighed and took her sweet time standing up, "I'll take care of it okay?"

Good, it was about time that someone fixed these problems besides me. "Listen up!" TGB shouted at them, "I brought you into this world and I'll take you out! I command you to stop!" they didn't stop, in fact they began to rampage through the store. "Fine! You leave me no choice!" She lifted the Flute of Fire to her lips.

Just then two of the popcorn people leapt into the air and threw the flute to the floor. TGB gasped and angrily stomped on the popcorn people, causing them to squeal. The popcorn that was left gathered together and what I assumed was their leader shouted, "Dominate Bandtopia!" and with one last fist shake he disappeared out the door.

"Oh my Sweet! We are supposed to be saving Bandtopia from Matt and we just set loose evil, talking popcorn!"I shouted.

"Calm down." Bressa said. Sweet help us when Bressa was the voice of reason.

"No! You know what? I don't want to calm down! Maybe I need to freak out a little, okay?" I snapped.

"What's the worse that they could do?" TGB sighed in defeat, picking up her flute.

Princess Miles walked over to us in a dainty pair of pink heels, "What did I miss? Do you like my shoes?"

"It's not important Miles," I said with a sigh.

"You there!" he said gesturing to a salesperson standing nearby in a striped pink shirt and pants, "I need an unbiased opinion. How do these shoes look?"

"They look gorgeous!" the sales assistant exclaimed flamboyantly. "Absolutely gorgeous!"

"Why, thank you," Miles leaned over to look at his name tag, "Greg! I like him, he's smart! Tell you what, why don't you come with us and you can be my princess assistant!"

I began to protest but Greg was all aglow, "Really? I've always dreamt of being the princess assistant!"

Bressa and TGB both looked at me and waited for a response. I sighed and threw my hands up in the air, "Fine! No one cares what I think anyways!"

"Great, go get your things and we'll head out," Greg bounded off to go get them. I sighed and walked over to where the princess was, it was time to get down to business.

"Princess Miles, stopping Matt is all good and well for now. But we need to start thinking about protecting Bandtopia in the future. If, Sweet forbid, King Mobes and Queen Mc die, who will assume the throne?"I asked, all sneakily.

"Well...me, that's why I'm the princess." he explained.

"Yeah, but you can't take the throne unless you are married to a King. You have to get married. I need to have someone on the inside..."I explained cautiously.

"No! Absolutely not! Stormy, I should take your head just for thinking such a thing!" Princess Miles shouted, his face turning red. Just then he looked like Mobley. Freaky.

"You would be ensuring the world from certain doom and you'd make Bandtopia safe again." I said.

"No!"

"You would be ensuring a safe society for our future banderations." I pleaded.

"No! I wont DO it Stormy! That's final and nothing you say is going to change my mind." he snapped, sticking his princess nose in the air.

I smirked because I knew the one thing that the brown nosing princess couldn't refuse, "You'd be making King Mobes happy."

Princess Miles frowned and I knew that I had won, "Okay, I'll do it for the good of Bandtopia."

"Good, go woo her." I told him, preparing the donkeys for the rest of their journey.

The princess grumbled and walked over to where Bressa was attending to the Bari Boom, "You know, in the right light that rust on your saxophone looks kind of pretty."

Bressa's eye twitched (a disturbing development I'd noticed since we started this trip) and she glared at him, "The Bari Boom does not have rust!"

"I said it was pretty rust!"

"Pretty or not, my saxophone is NOT rusty!"

"How does one get rust on their saxophone to begin with?" the princess asked, fingering her own, flawless princess sax.

"I had...uh, river issues." Bressa explained, clutching the Bari Boom.

"The thing probably tried to drown itself. I don't blame it, I've heard you play!"

At this I looked up, expecting to have to withhold Bressa from killing him. Unfortunately I was too late because I heard a big splash and the princess was no longer there. Thirty minutes later we had fished Miles out of the Winding Woodwind River and we were on the road, soggy princess in tow. In retrospect I probably shouldn't have sent him over there like that.

Oh well, hind sights 20/20.


End file.
